


amazing

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, feeling flat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 23:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21346567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: #14 or something
Comments: 1





	amazing

**Author's Note:**

> uh...
> 
> im bored

So, I've been looking through my past works. I will admit, I'm concerned about numbers more than I should be. That's the only reason I go back to look. A fault of mine. Sorry!  
Anyways, my tenth work, anxious, had 30-something hits. Interesting, considering in that one it alluded I was about to kill myself. I'd just like to say thanks. For you know, looking for drama. Really boosts my confidence when people acknowledge my existence. And the post after that, my eleventh, continue, it had more-than-average hits as well. So, again, thanks. This time for maybe being concerned if I lived or not. But I think the title I gave it made it pretty clear. I'm sure some people may be curious about all of my 14 posts. I might be deluded, but I think it's hard to find them all. Since they're all orphaned. Here. All my works are numbered in the summary, and all of them have almost identical categories and ratings. I just have to think. Are my own struggles and thoughts that interesting? How can they be? They all copy each other. It's usually about the same moments in my life. I'm sitting here trying to convince a non-existent fanbase to not look for my works. While also really wanting everyone to see, so maybe I can have my 5 seconds of fame. I'm just worried. I have serious issues opening up to people. I mean c'mon, I get into arguments with my grandmother because she feels like I don't spill my guts enough. If I can't open up to my family, how can I write all this? Because I'm behind a screen. The only reason I posted in the first place is because I felt hidden. It's just, sometimes I don't want to be hidden. I don't want to die forgotten. Or die as "that one southern girl who could draw mediocre portraits". What a tragedy! I want to be in the spotlight, while also be hiding in the curtains. It's bad. Wanting two opposites, being torn between them. It makes you still, a stagnant statue. You don't look for fame, you don't look to better yourself. You don't look to run away, you hurl insults at yourself. Standstill.


End file.
